So, after quite s0metime, i am letting it go. Mem0ri ngn dia banyak and 0nly b0th of us knew the inside j0kes. Punyela rapat ngn dia... After quite s0metime jugak, i'm trying to accept that we are n0 l0nger friends. Ye la, what do you expect after 2 years kan? Dia senyapkn diri, removing me fr0m her fb's friendlist etc.. But i kn0w i never ditch her sbb deep d0wn, i kn0w she's still in my heart; s0mewhere, s0meh0w. No, i never wait for her ap0logize, just a simple hello or hi, that w0uld be en0ugh. Tapi xde jugak.. So i keep 0n m0ving, n0 turning back. The past is past and let it be that way.
And bila baru2 ni dapat PM dr dia kat fb, said that she's s0rry, admitting her fault and asking for a f0rgiveness.. I was quite suprised. Because i kn0w she g0t big issue in ego department. After 4 years, why n0w? But kn0wing her t0o, makes me realize that, if this is all c0ming fr0m her, i kn0w that she meant it and definitely fr0m her heart.
Bg aku, aku dah lama maaf kan dia.. Dia pun x expect yg aku akan reply pm dia tu. Tp, i am being me. Aku kalo bleh xsuka pendam perasaan, xsuka gaduh masam muka lama2. Mungkin ada yg akan bertanye, 'senangnye nak maafkan dia? After what she had d0ne to y0u?'. Bg aku, life aku xkan c0mplete with0ut kawan. Family memangla 1st pri0rity and friends c0mes 2nd, the cl0sest. Sebab dgn d0rg jugak lah, life w0uld be meaningful and indeed beautiful. Aku xsalahkan dia t0tally 100%, maybe ada salah aku jugak yg aku xperasan tp aku dh m0h0n maaf awal2 dulu.
I don't h0pe that our friendship will get back to n0rmal, like 4 years ago. It would be awkward, i kn0w. Tapi, andai kata boleh diputarkan balik masa tu, aku akan putarkan. How i missed her so much. I missed a g0od 4 years of her life and vice versa. Kalo boleh, nk lupekan 4 tahun tu and bleh berb0rak, hang0ut mcm biasa. Itu harapan aku.
Dlm masa 4 tahun kitorang putus/ berhenti berkawan ni,
How i wish that she's been there during my E day, wedding day and even 0n the day i'm in my c0nfinement.
In our last pm kat fb tu, i said, we can start all over again, 0-0 if she want to.
Apelah makne berkawan kalo xde selisih paham kan? Sdgkan dlm keluarga, dgn sp0use kita sendiri pun kita kadang2 ada gaduh2 manje. Inikan pulak orang luar.. Kita bukan malaikat. Kita hanya manusia yang xlekang dari buat silap.
Part paling bwh kat quote atas tu kata, 'buat ape nak simpan kalo ianya menyakitkan?' tak relevan pada diri aku ni. Kalo jadi pada aku, even gigi yang r0sak dan dah dicabut tu pun aku akan simpan, apetah lagi kawan.
P/s: kepada kawanku itu, you kn0w wh0 you are: i still need you in my life as a friend and i h0pe that our friendship d0esn't end here.
-E & Q-
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